Disclaimer：I cannot guarantee the complete accuracy of this translation
親愛なるタナトス 第四巻 毀損
CV: Yamanaka Masahiro (山中真尋)
Track 1: Initial Medical Exam
Hello, please take a seat on the chair over there.
Oh, I apologize, please excuse my manners.
Let’s see, you are here for an initial exam.
Today, I was told that your cough does not appear to be stopping. While it does seem pretty bad, there is no longer a need to worry.
When did the cough start?
3 weeks ago…?
That must have been difficult. Have you visited any other hospitals?
I see. Do you have your prescription history with you right now?
Oh, these drugs huh.
Ah, no, it’s nothing.
Your prescriptions consist of cough, fever, and stomach medicine. Pretty much the standard treatment; however, you have not made a complete recovery.
The drugs were not wrongly prescribed but they might not have been ideal for your particular body.
Do not worry, it does not have an effect on your body, it just means that they had poor affinity with you.
Yes, there is compatibility in regards to drugs. Although medications may have the same therapeutic effects, their chemical composition can be different.
I will be returning this to you. Thank you for giving it to me.
Here you go.
You seem a little fatigued. Have you been pushing yourself at work?
You are such a hard worker; that said, you should tend to your body a little more. When the seasons change, it becomes easy to accumulate both mental and physical exhaustion.
Being dedicated is a wonderful thing but there is no meaning if you destroy your health in the process.
Being busy is a good thing though, it is proof that the people around you rely on you. And that is precisely why you should cherish your body.
I think it is most likely stress-related bronchitis but let us quickly get an exam done to relieve your anxiety. It will be over before you know it so there is no need to worry.
Now then, I will palpate you so please lift up your shirt a little.
Please allow me to listen in on your chest.
It might be a bit cold but please bear with it for a bit.
Hmm, I see. Please take in a deep breath.
Now breathe out.
Please turn around.
Okay, breath in…and breathe out.
Hmm, I hear a bit of noise but this level should quickly recover with medicine.
Yes, please feel at ease.
I did not observe any major abnormalities so just monitor your health for the time being. I will relay your blood test and X-ray results at a later date.
Please stop taking the medications you have been taking until now and take these newly prescribed drugs.
Also, go eat delicious foods, do the things you like, and take your time to rest.
No, like I said earlier, that is work for when you are in a healthy state.
Now, can you promise me that?
That is a great answer. Now let us immediately proceed with further exams.
Can I order some tests for the patient? First, they will have an X-ray and then take a blood test afterwards.
It will be alright so do not look so uneasy.
If you make sure to rest and take your medication, you will be better before you know it.
They say that it is all about your mindset when it comes to illness, but if anything concerns you, please do not hesitate to contact me.
You will…entrust yourself to me?
That makes me happy.
Naturally, one gets worried if one’s not simply getting better. Observe the state of things for a week and then return for a check-up, and then at the same time, I will tell you the results of today’s tests.
Oh right, I still have not told you my name yet.
I am Wakatsuki Keito.
I was late in my introduction, but it is a pleasure to meet you.
Track 2: Anxiety and Hope
Sorry to keep you waiting, how has your health been since-
What’s the matter…?!!
Your face is completely pale. In any case, are you able to take a seat over there? It is okay to take it slow.
You are sweating profusely. What exactly happened?
So your cough stopped, but it was replaced with nausea. And that started sometime last evening?
By any chance-
I apologize but can I first begin with some questions?
Has the ongoing fatigue you experienced prior to treatment worsened? And have you experienced any tingling or numbness?
Can you listen to me calmly?
I believe you would worry more if I avoided it so I will first tell you the results.
I suspect that you have an incurable illness.
There are very few cases of this disease so there are many doctors who do not know of its existence. Since stress causes sudden deterioration, people often think that they are simply tired.
I am sure that you must have thought the same, right?
You told me that you had poor circumstances and have been working overtime so it is only natural to believe that you were worn out.
To tell you the truth, the previous physician you were under had made the same diagnosis.
I am glad that I had blood drawn last time.
Yes, there were particular numbers that stood out in your results and while I was researching, I found the corresponding disease that I suspect that you have.
And it was last night that I came to this realization.
Indeed, a cure would take an immense amount of time.
Yes, you need to be hospitalized. But although it is an extremely rare disease, there were reports of complete remission, so do not be pessimistic about it. The professor I studied under is a leading figure in the research into the cures for incurable diseases so I can borrow their knowledge as well.
Yes. And so, could you please leave this matter to me?
Thank you very much.
Once the appropriate treatment is given, your disease will be cured, and that’s why we doctors exist.
Don’t look so teary. I understand that you’re all the more nervous since this is your first time being hospitalized but it’ll be alright, I will definitely cure your illness.
Now then, let’s have you hospitalized and begin treatment today.
First off, in accordance with our admission policy, please allow me to do a complete physical.
Are you ready for the tests?
First, we’ll take a CT scan.
It’s located in an area that’s a little difficult to find so I’ll guide you.
Thank you for your cooperation.
As expected, it is unmistakably the disease that I had predicted. But worry not, I’ve already ordered the drugs required to treat you so we’ll be able to administrate the proper treatment starting tonight.
P-Please settle down.
No way, you’ll be fired from your job?
I understand. Please leave that to me, I’ll transfer a slightly rewritten medical certificate.
That isn’t good, hehe.
That said, it isn’t a plus to have you depressed for seeking treatment.
It’ll be alright, I’ll write it off as stress-related illness.
Look, if I do that, the company will reflect on how they’ve overburdened you, no? And it’s not entirely a lie to say that it was influenced by stress.
Oh, please keep this entirely off-the-records, okay?
What’s the matter? If there’s something concerning you, please tell me, I’ll do whatever I can as long as it’s within my power to do so.
That is true. When you’re hospitalized with an incurable disease, the closer it gets, the harder it is to wrap up.
Shall I handle the communication and formalities regarding your place of work?
Of course. I want you to focus on fighting your illness.
I’ll gladly undertake that task if I can be of help to you when it comes to potential obstacles. And I’ll keep quiet when your friends come to visit so you don’t have to worry about that either.
Don’t make such a gloomy expression, be more optimistic.
Oh, right, let’s get you a private room in the hospital. I think a private room is best for sorting your feelings together.
Yes, you won’t be using it for long so don’t worry about it.
Besides, my medical office is right next to it so if anything ever happens I can rush to you immediately.
When you have to suddenly adjust to a change to your environment, that is by no means unreasonable. Please rely on me all you want as long as you’re fine with having me.
That reminds me. We’ve gone through your workplace and friends, but how do you plan to contact your parents? You live alone, right?
Understood. In that case, I won’t report it to your parents either.
I’m happy to be trusted by a person like you.
Please leave it to me, I’ll definitely cure you. And when that happens, you can go see your parents and other people you know as if nothing ever happened.
You’re fine as long as you’re here so have the optimistic mindset that you’ll definitely be cured.
Let’s do our best together.
Track 3: Perch
Good morning, how are you feeling?
That’s a relief.
You experienced nausea and abdominal pain, and had been coughing a little. None of it was particularly severe but it’s tough when all the symptoms overlap.
Do you think you’ll be able to eat?
Last night you had only an IV drip so what would you like to eat?
That’s a great idea, they’re high in nutritional value so I think they’re perfect.
Understood, I’ll bring some for you later.
Haha, you aren’t being selfish. More importantly, let’s have you take in as much nutrients as possible while your condition is stable.
That said, you must be bored if you’re constantly lying in bed.
If you’d like, how about I bring you some books?
Look, it’s not a big deal.
Photo albums…? You like those?
Scenic photos. I know, they’re extremely wonderful aren’t they? I especially admire sceneries I’ve never seen before.
I understand that feeling too, it brings forth emotion even without words.
To tell you the truth, I love photography too.
Yes, I didn’t think we’d share the same interests. It makes me happy.
I love photos of medical plants and crystalline structures. Obviously, I don’t normally have the opportunity to look at them though.
Well, I’ll go prepare some photo albums I recommend too then.
I’ll be happy if you end up liking them.
It’s been 2 weeks since you’ve been hospitalized and you’re gradually recovering from your symptoms. Let’s work hard together and not rush anything.
You did your very best at work until now so think of it as somewhat of a long vacation in the long life you’ve lived.
Oh, there’s no power. Shall I lend you a charger?
Is that so?
Smartphones are certainly convenient but there are many cases where one might experience subconscious stress from the seemingly close relationships and information overload.
Should I try buying a smartphone some time? …Just kidding.
Oh, it’s just time for breakfast.
Thank you for your hard work, it’s always appreciated. I’ll be taking it from here.
You have consommé soup for breakfast. It’s something that you said you enjoyed the other day.
If you smile like that you’ll recover from your illness before long, and besides, smiles suit you.
When there’s consomme soup, I get to see your adorable smile so I told them to add it into the menu. You’re currently the only in-patient so you’re free to request whatever you want, plus, it really puts my mind at ease when I’m talking to you like this.
Just kidding, I’m not in the position to be soothed, am I?
I’m sorry for getting too deep into the conversation, please dig in before your food gets cold.
The fact that you’re hungry is a great sign of health. Eat well, take your medicine, and let’s beat this illness.
!? Oh, I see, you have temporary numbness as the result of lingering side effects.
But if you can’t hold your spoon then…
I got it.
Here, say “ah.”
Hmm? Is something the matter?
Oh, I apologize. Are you resistant against me feeding you?
It’s cute how you’re shy about it. But don’t worry, I’m a doctor, it’s only natural for me to help out a patient.
Now then, say “ah.”
Is it not too hot?
That’s good. Okay, one more bite, say “ah.”
Oh, sorry. Can you stay still for a bit?
There we go.
Hmm? Your face is a little red.
You were fine earlier but…
Is that…so? Please tell me right away if you’re feeling unwell.
For what reason?
It’s obvious, it’s because you’re my precious patient.
Track 4: Agape
Okay, here you go.
Sorry to have made you wait, the careful selection took 3 days. Naturally, it was for your sake.
What do you think? I’ll be glad if it matches your interests.
Thank god. I didn’t think you’d be this delighted.
Yes, those are my recommendations. Sorry for being such an enthusiast.
It’s a beautiful blue, isn’t it? They’re crystals of copper (sulfate) called blue vitriol.
Copper is dangerous to the human body when consumed in excess, and when introduced into a pond, it’ll annihilate all the algae.
Truly, it’s a beauty you’ve never seen before is it not?
Haha! I’m fine, my break just started.
As long as you are willing, can we talk for a little longer?
But I’m happy, this is the first time I’ve met a person who shares this many thoughts with me.
You don’t need to have the background knowledge. Even without that, I’m happy to compromise with you like this.
You really are a modest person. Do you realize how much the figure of you fighting back against your illness encourages me?
I apologize, I’ll get straight to the point. I ended up falling in love with you.
I confirmed it earlier, I want to learn more about you and I want you to know more about me, not as a doctor, but as a man.
S-Sorry, for suddenly-
To feel this way towards a patient…I’m a failure of a doctor.
Eh? Not at all, I want you.
I’m so happy, it’s like a dream.
You’re right, you’re within my arms right now.
Yes, I’ll definitely save your life. I want to be with you forever, as a doctor, and as a lover.
You want to hurry up and leave this place…?
Oh, right, let’s go out somewhere once you’re discharged from the hospital. It’d be nice to create time for you and me as a couple this time around.
Don’t worry, we’ll always be together.
Track 5: Cloudiness
Why, why did this happen-!? You were so stable last week.
Oh, right, this happened because you tried to leave me and said that you wanted to get out of this place.
No, no, no, NO, NO, I definitely can’t lose you like this.
Please, answer me.
It’ll be alright, it’ll be alright, my friend is just a little bit of a bad mood.
I’m begging you, please don’t pass away in front of me. Please, please stay with me…forever.
It was love at first sight. A fragile body, an expression of fear and anxiety over your illness, and beautiful eyes that look at me longingly. This is the first time I’ve met such an ideal woman.
If those eyes become clouded then I’ll surely…
You see, I love you so, so much, that I simply couldn’t stop myself. I’ve documented everything that has occurred until now.
The precious…it gives me the indispensable power to deceive.
I want you to know more about me, it’ll be troubling if you die there. You’re different from the other girls.
This isn’t the time for hiccups…
STOP, THINGS CAN’T END LIKE THIS!!!
Hey, I’m right here. You’re nowhere else but here, right next to me.
You finally moved…
I knew it, God is beside me as they say, that’s why you’ve been brought back to me.
No, if we increase the amount any further than this girl’s life will-
But even so, if we increase the number of friends, then this girl would surely rush to my side.
That’s right, I can’t give this girl too much freedom. Surely, once she recovers, she’ll undoubtedly attempt to leave my side.
I…simply want you to stay with me forever.
Track 6: Terrarium
Good morning, how are you feeling?
Since awaking last night, have you slept properly-
Hmm? Is something the matter? Are you perhaps still feeling unwell?
If that’s not it then why?
Don’t worry, I explained to you yesterday that your surgery went smoothly didn’t I? If things progress well, then you should at least be able to take a walk in the courtyard-
Why do you say that? I won’t be able to examine you like this.
What are you saying? You always trusted me, didn’t you? You’d call on me immediately whenever you’re feeling unwell, and the other day, I saved you while you were on the verge of death. And yet…
You’ve been saying some pretty disturbing things starting a while ago, I’ve never heard of a hospital where the doctors would make the patient swallow poison. Or did you read a novel with that premise?
Emergency case? Oh, are you referring to the man who was hospitalized last weekend?
Yes, that’s right, he died in less than a week.
He was a terminal patient, by the time he came here, it was already too late.
This is the fourth time? Don’t tell me you counted?
Counting the number of deaths isn’t really a pastime worth praising.
As expected, your anxiety has affected your mental state, you’re acting like I’m playing God with people’s lives.
You really are not backing down, are you?
I told you this before but those transferred to this hospital were beyond saving, all four of them were.
Like I said, this is an occasional occurrence.
This hospital actively accepts patients that were refused by other hospitals so those with terminal illness are often brought in here. That’s why the thing you’re concerned about absolutely never happened.
Besides, if it were truly such a suspicious hospital, it would’ve already been audited. You came here in the first place after hearing of its reputation did you not?
I wonder about that.
Oh, so you heard that far.
HahaHAHAHA!!! I somewhat lost my composure that day, I didn’t think you’d be conscious though.
What a careless mistake, I’m disappointed in myself.
Yes, that’s right, that’s what I’ve been doing. All the in-patients in this hospital are guinea pigs to collect data from for my research.
Rather than simply dying, I gave their deaths, value.
But that doesn’t matter don’t you think? You are alive; in other words, you are different from the other guinea pigs.
Why does it matter? You see, I love you.
I thought of you as a precious existence, that’s why I let you live.
You love me, don’t you? Your heart moved immediately after I called out to it.
That’s cruel of you to call it a convenient interpretation. So why don’t you tell me why you came back to me?
I’ll tell you this as many times as needed.
Listen, you are special, and that’s why I parted you from my precious tiny little friends.
Antimony potassium tartrate trihydrate. More beautiful than anything else in the world, it is a friend with a gentleness that has protected me from all those who wrong me.
The world calls it a poison but that is simply the convenient interpretation you speak of.
Those without sense are unable to see its true nature.
Now then, it’s your turn to learn about me. Worry not, I’ll make good use of you.
Track 7: Vicious Idea
You can’t escape. I explained this to you earlier did I not? I would never kill you.
What a surprise, you still had that much strength left in you. I should’ve made the numbness slightly worse.
What must I do to return you to the way you were when we first met? You relied on me so much didn’t you?
Oh, I got it, you’re being shy. How cute.
It is true that I still haven’t touched you in this manner yet, after all.
Why…? Because I fell in love with you.
Ah, what’s this, you didn’t hear the most crucial parts?
I fell in love at first sight.
The day, I really loved the figure of you desperately begging for my help at the fear of illness like you’re going to die any moment.
I wanted to be by your side, I wanted to be needed by you. And that’s why I made you swallow my tiny little friends.
That way, I could create a reason for you to stay, no?
What did the medicine taste like, I wonder?
You see, I am a chosen one, I’m completely detached from the others. Me being taken in by a hospital, a legitimate means to obtain drugs, is because I’m a God-chosen king.
I am not the biological child of the hospital group, it seems I was adopted by the family when I was born as the heir to this place.
I guess there wasn’t a need to give me affection since we weren’t connected by blood. They zealously raised me to be the doctor they wanted me to be.
……Like they were raising a pig.
Those were terribly boring days but I’m grateful to them because, at this hospital, I met the friends of a lifetime.
I wonder if you know of them.
Antimony, thallium, and digoxin.
There was an extremely impertinent classmate when I was a primary schooler, he was a nasty guy who enjoyed bullying me. And so, I made him the first guinea pig to test out my friends’ power.
My tiny little friends were so amazing, the idiot who’s only merit was their body size couldn’t even move a muscle.
Afterwards, I was obsessed with it and repeated research on various other guinea pigs.
It was the first time I felt esteem towards my parents who were doctors, so as a token of gratitude, I made them guinea pigs in the end.
I slowly, ever so slowly, mixed my friends into their food.
My friends are incredible, aren’t they?
And this time around, they brought us together. I was grateful from the bottom of my heart that I was a doctor. Perhaps those inhumane days were so that the two of us could meet.
What’s wrong? You’re the princess chosen by the king you know? You should be extremely honored.
Hey, what’s the matter? You should be happier no?
Where do you think you’re going?
Oh, you want to play a game of tag?
Sure, you’re bored from laying in bed, aren’t you? I’ll help you out with your rehabilitation.
You probably can’t move well since you were sleeping for the past while, that said, you’re cute when you’re attempting to escape for dear life.
Hang in there. Do your best.
Even if you scream there’s no one else around. I fired everyone yesterday so this has become our castle.
Now then, I should start chasing you.
The rule is that the person who is “it” has to count to ten before moving after all.
Come on, if you don’t do your best to run, I’ll catch you. I can easily catch up to you if you move like that.
Or…are you wanting to be caught?
Okay, caught you.
You’re the first person I wanted to let live with these hands, I wonder what I should do to convey this to you?
Now then, let’s return to your room before you catch a cold.
That was some nice rehabilitation. Now then, I ought to punish you, don’t I?
Trying to escape is bad, no? And kids who do bad things are to be punished as often happened to me when I was young because I couldn’t quite meet my parents’ expectations you see.
Having your bottoms hit until they were swollen, having water poured on you midwinter…
That was super rough. Hahaha.
Now then, what punishment should I give you?
First, I’ll remove these unnecessary things.
Since when did you become such a disobedient child?
Physical restraints are well-matched for such a girl.
Oh, sorry, I can’t quite control my strength when I’m excited. But it can’t be helped, you’re the one who’s at fault.
How many times do I need to say it before you understand?
I treasure you this much and you returned from the verge of death after having realized that, right?
You’re still denying it, huh. You’re such a shy girl.
Settle down, otherwise, I might use too much strength again.
As expected, you are a good girl.
Does it feel good?
Say that it feels good.
Sheesh, you’re still not being honest. I get it, I’ll make it so that you are honest.
Take this into your mouth.
I’m telling you to take this into your mouth, we ought to prepare things before putting it in. Or are there abnormalities in your hearing because of the drugs?
Yes, that’s right, lick it thoroughly because this will be entering inside you.
That’s right, more…more.
You’re quite good at it, aren’t you? I never was wrong was I?
You mustn’t take your mouth off of it.
Turn this way.
Yes. The face you make as you fervently stuff your cheeks extremely lovable. So cute.
I told you that you mustn’t take your mouth off of it.
Oh, I got it, you’re wanting this already.
You’re useful just being alive as you fulfill my heart greatly, in exchange, I ought to pour my love into you otherwise it wouldn’t be fair, right?
Please don’t say that it’s unwarranted.
Unnecessary, unneeded, undesired, useless, I’m tired of hearing those words. I was told that time and time and time again as a child.
You see, I already realize that I’m an unwanted existence. There’s no need for an unlicensed doctor, after all.
I quit university, my parents didn’t know, though.
Either way, it was a university my parents bribed my way into so even if I qualified after graduating, it was through the power of money. And if that’s the case, there’s not exactly a need for me to attend school.
I mean, it doesn’t really matter now.
I have certainly become a lofty being who can manipulate human life freely. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that I’m almost akin to a god.
And you were chosen by me.
There is no greater honor than this is there? And that’s why I wanted to go out of my way to show you the fruits of my repeated research using your own body.
Oh, don’t worry, it’s not poison. If you take this drug, your body will become sensitive; you’ll feel like you’ve been shot up to heaven from a simple touch.
You can’t escape.
Good girl, you swallowed it properly.
It’ll be fine, don’t worry, it’ll feel good before long. For example…it shouldn’t hurt when I bite your nipples.
It feels nice does it not?
Wow, your body’s trembling, and you’re moaning too.
You repeatedly told me to stop but if you truly want me to stop then why are you wet?
Hey, do you hear it? Your body’s readying itself to accept me.
As I thought, you like me, that’s why you’re delighted by the things I do.
Look, nectar starts pouring out endlessly when I tease your nipples.
Seems like the drug is quite effective. Simply by touching like this…
HeheHAHAHA!!! That’s amazing.
Ah, I wonder what kind of reaction you’ll show me when I put it in.
Don’t worry, you’ll be able to accept me easily.
It’s not anything painful, is it? Your body is this delighted, you see.
I’m so happy.
You’ve taken me in. You and I have become one.
Give me more…more, and more of you.
I’ll do anything for you so please always remain by my side. Live for my sake.
ーーI don’t want to be alone anymore.
Hey, you’ll promise me that, right?
That voice, that’s the voice I wanted to hear.
It’s good, it feels really good.
It’ll be alright, don’t worry, I won’t end it there, I’ll make you feel even better.
Open your mouth.
You swallowed it, right? That’s your usual medication: my tiny little friends.
I won’t stop.
I’ll be anxious unless I do this, I don’t want to be separated from you for even a moment. I want to tie you to me.
It can’t be helped since I like you, right?
It feels so good.
I like you, I love you.
I’ll give my noble semen to you alone, okay? Accept all of it, okay?
What an adorable person you are, you are my treasure.
Track 8: Following like a Shadow
Good morning, have you been a good girl?
Yes, I’ll always be by your side.
I told you this before, no? That’s a dangerous request.
Yes, no matter what.
If you open it here, any bad guys who try to kidnap you will come through from the other side.
I brought something wonderful today.
It’s a fellow that has protected me so if you take it, I’m sure it’ll protect you too.
Good girl. Here, water.
Swallow it slowly since it appears your ability to swallow has weakened.
Okay, show me the inside of your mouth. Say “ah.”
You swallowed it nicely. Good job.
You haven’t been smiling at all lately. As I thought, is this place no good?
I got it, let’s make an exception and go outside today.
Yes, it’ll be fine as long as you’re with me. I’ll bring you to someplace nice. You get to look forward to the destination before we arrive.
Now then, let’s get you onto the wheelchair.
……Since you can’t do anything by yourself.
Okay. Well then, let’s go.
I’m so looking forward to it, I’m sure you’ll take a liking to it.
Hey, you’ll smile like you did in those days…right?