Thank You to Berri for Commissioning this Translation ♥
Disclaimer：I cannot guarantee the complete accuracy of this translation
びいどろ心中 ～一夜の夢 熊野宗一の場合～
CV: Sudou Shou (須藤翔)
Track 1: Sound of Rain
We’ve now arrived home.
I’m back. Thank you for your hard work, the rain has gotten much lighter than it had been when I left, hasn’t it?
Well…it’s evitable because it’s the rainy season but I dislike driving on rainy days all the same.
That’s right, it’s best if you don’t force yourself too hard and just rest when things are difficult as well. It’s easy for your health to deteriorate during this time of year.
You made everyone worry the other day when you pushed yourself whilst you were having a headache, no?
Do you realize how terrified I was when I saw your pale face?
Of course I’d be concerned, I think of you as like my younger sister after all. You’re a cute girl from the same town, you’re well put together but sometimes you do risky things.
I’ve discussed it with the Master inside the car, but it appears that the matter about returning home was brought up again.
Yes, this time, the Imazomo’s garden pavilion in Azabudai mysteriously went up in flames. No one died, however, I heard that their son had received injuries from burns.
Before that, if I remember correctly, a monk was thrown into a river.
I’ve heard that he was a corrupt priest, so I wonder who’s resentment did he incur. And it appears that there’s no progress in terms of the police investigation since each and every one of them is odd.
I think so too. When the next victim appears, I wonder what’ll happen to them.
They chose to use Takarai Kikaku’s haikus as a signature for their acts and left behind the hand-written haikus at the scene of their crimes.
What is the perpetrator thinking I wonder?
Then how about I read them to you next time? If it’s Kikaku’s haikus, I have them.
The Ougi family are people deserving of respect so I don’t think they’ve done anything to elicit hatred from others but…well, it wouldn’t be strange if the second son’s made a blunder at some point.
Don’t worry, you have me to protect you.
Besides, the Master has a lawyer so there’s nothing to worry about.
I see, in that case…look, I can pat you at any time. Oh sorry! You still have work left, right? I also need to return the car back to the garage after this so I’ll see you later then.
After the 18th, appearing all the more late,
Track 2: Moonlit Night
Tonight’s waning gibbous moon eh.
As you continue to read through the books that you’ve bought and not read, it’s gotten this late, hasn’t it? When I went out into the garden for a smoke of cigarette, there happened to be a visitor there before me.
Did you have a nightmare?
A happy dream…? A dream about your mother and father?
However, when you awoke and they weren’t there, you felt lonely, didn’t you?
Not even a year has passed since you’ve lost both your parents, right? So isn’t feeling lonely only natural? Did something bad happen that made you want to see your mother and father?
The second son? Did he say something to you?
Jeez, that idiot, to say something like that…
The Master and Madam are way too kind on that stupid son. That said, not resorting to violence might be preferable when dealing with an earl’s son though.
It’s not something you should blame yourself for, you lost a part of your memories in a bad accident and that’s why the symptoms of amnesia weren’t evident.
Whenever you’re feeling lonely or having a hard time, feel free to come to my side at any time. And so I won’t mind if it’s in the middle of the night. I’ll pat your head like this, and on the side, I’ll listen to your stories until your mood settles down.
If you’re so inclined, how about I sing you a lullaby?
Hehe, this my pride. Oh that’s right! Let’s go see a moving picture in Asakusa.
Uh-huh, it appears that they’re screening a work produced by an up-and-coming writer. It seems to be a mix of joururi and complementary drama, so it made me curious. And in doing so, you can read the captions.
Don’t be modest, or is going on a secret rendezvous with me dissatisfactory? We’ve never once fully gone out together ever since I started working at this mansion, no?
As my cute little sister, let’s go and have fun together in Asakusa.
So, will you grant big brother’s request?
Yup, of course.
Tomorrow, when we’re finished with each others’ respective jobs, please come over to my room once everyone’s fallen asleep.
If someone finds us and says that they’d like to come as well, don’t you find that unbearable?
Especially that second son.
Yay, you laughed.
It’s cold, we can’t afford to get sick so let’s hurry up and get back inside.
Do you know the meaning of a waning gibbous moon?
All the more late in raising compared to the 18th day of the lunar calendar, 19th day, that is the waning gibbous moon. And that’s why it means to sleep and wait.
Certainly, it’d be best for us to lie in wait for good luck’s sake.
I pray for the good news.
Track 3: Mutual Love
“The remnant of this world, and the remnants of night. If you say my body’s heading towards death, then I am the frost on the field roads. Disappearing one step at a time, pitifulーan entirely unrealizable dream.”
Oh, are you sleepy?
You were dozing until just now, so you’re not really convincing, you know?
Madam’s friends came today and everyone was busy, right? Thank you for your hard work.
You said something cute, didn’t you? But let’s end it here tonight.
Hmm? What’s wrong?
You wish to hear the haikus from the incidents that rocked this district? Hmm, I won’t be responsible if you’re so scared that you can’t sleep though.
I understand, please wait just a moment.
Old…? Ah, mhm.
It’s in the same state as it was when I received it from the original person, it’s a precious book that has been read time and time again after all. It’s all tattered, no?
Err, the haikus from the incidents…
Oh, it’s here.
I think what I’ve read just now is everything.
If you say it like that, I guess so. Well…seeing that it’s deliberate, they probably chose haikus that match the current season.
The reason the perpetrator chose Kikaku?
Yes, that’s something only the actual person knows.
What a cute yawn, it’s best you actually go to sleep soon, it’ll be troubling if it becomes a hindrance for work tomorrow.
You’re welcome. Since the Master and the aged butler have given permission, we can visit Asakusa next week Saturday.
Rest assured, I requested that they make sure to keep it a secret from everybody else as well.
Look, you’re yawning again.
How about you don’t return to your room and sleep here?
That’s a shame, in that case… Good night.
I was wondering what moving pictures were like, but it was pretty fun, wasn’t it?
It’s great to hear that you enjoyed it. I was worried about the weather, but unusual for this time of year, it was clear for the whole day.
Hmm? Is something the matter?
A glasswork shop?
I know that it’s novel, but don’t run over like that.
Which one do you want?
Oh, a glass toy?
Eh? Really!? Could it be that the memories you’ve lost have returned…?!!
You remember? From which point?
I apologize. Of course, I’m worried about that, you’d feel anxious if you’re constantly in that state, right?
That said, please wait a moment.
Uncle, can we take one of those glass toys with the dark-colored handle?
Okay, here you go.
There’s still time before the sun sets so how about we enjoy the evening cool at the dry riverbed over there.
Pass it over to me.
This type of thing is nostalgic.
Ah no, I was just talking to myself. Speaking of which, that was an indirect kiss, wasn’t it? …Are you against a kiss from me?
If you don’t hate it then what is it, then?
Say, could you please allow me to give you a real kiss someday?
Why that is? It’s because I love you so much that I can’t help it. I’ll see to it that everything that causes you harm is eradicated from this world.
I told you that I’d remain by your side, but I’m not satisfied with just that.
I’ll never make you feel feelings of fear nor feelings of loneliness. So could you please become mine?
There are few people from this point onwards, so let’s hold hands for a bit.
Now, let’s go home.
Track 4: Ecstasy
Who is it? Oh, it’s you. Wait just a second.
Did you have a nightmare? Come here. There, there, it’s alright now.
A dream about being thrust into complete darkness huh. Even though you knew that it was a dream, it was frightening, wasn’t it?
Is that so? So you don’t know who that refers to.
Hmm, a neighborhood big brother whom you played with when you were young? Do you have anyone in mind?
I see, but isn’t it fine not to think yourself into a corner?
…Because right now, that’s more than enough.
Have you calmed down a little I wonder? Is that so? That’s a relief.
Ah, are you curious as to why my desk’s messy? I was adjusting the plan a little-no, it’s nothing.
I’ll tell you then. More importantly, isn’t this the first night we’re spending together ever since we became officially in love with each other together?
Can I give you the kiss that I couldn’t last time?
You’re worried about attracting attention? In that case, don’t you think that coming to a man’s room in the small hours of the morning is also a problem?
That’s right, you were merely anxious because you saw a horrifying dream. So it’s my fault for taking advantage of you whilst you were scared.
You were simply enticed into it, so you’ve done nothing wrong. So, please?
Of course, naturally, I’ll keep it a secret.
I just wanted to make sure but this is your first kiss, right? …I’d like to do it one more time.
What is it?
I intended for it to be only once, but, look, since tonight’s a full moon, my mind might’ve gone a little crazy.
Please let me eat you.
Open your mouth. Wider.
Don’t retract your tongue, stick it out properly.
Because you’re not used to it you don’t know how to breathe, huh. I’ll teach you everything.
You never had this place licked before, right?
Hmm? You feel shivers? If you strain your ears, you can clearly hear it. It’s an obscene sound, is it not?
You don’t want to? But I’m just touching it directly.
Where is ‘there’? Because I don’t know. If you don’t say it clearly, we’re going to be staying like this all night long.
Come on, say it with a cute voice.
Hmm? Say it with a louder voice.
I never thought that the shy you would actually say it.
Yes, your breasts. Well said.
What do you want me to do after this? It’s alright, do you think I’d ever do something that would hurt?
I’ll make you feel so good that you don’t have the leisure to feel hurt.
Come on, hurry.
Even though you should just honestly “Please make me feel good.”
If you cling onto me like that, it’s almost as though you desire only me and it makes me happy.
Spread your legs a little wider. Uh-huh.
Why’s this place wet? Do you know?
You see, that’s the proof that you want me. It’s gotten this wet so that it can accept me.
It’s embarrassing…? If you say things like that then I’m worried about the things beyond this. Afterward, something thicker will enter inside there and that’s why I ought to loosen it first with my fingers.
Hey, keep your eyes open properly and look at me.
Then I guess punishment is in order for a girl who doesn’t do what they’re told.
Your insides are hot and are wrapping around my fingers. And is continuously making noises.
It’s not enough? Oh? Am I wrong? I thought about rubbing against a more pleasurable place my fingers can’t reach, what a shame.
You came just now, didn’t you?
Lies, after all, look, so much nectar is spilling out. And your insides are twitching and convulsing.
To cum with only fingers even though you’re a virgin, you really are a shameful girl.
Don’t cry, do you hate it when I’m mean-spirited?
Good girl. Bullying the girl you like is the nature of men. Plus, it’s not over yet.
To put it on hold after coming this far, don’t you think you’re doing something rather unfair? Don’t tell me you intend to give up your virginity to someone else?
I’ll never approve of that, it’s unforgivable.
Hearing those words gives me a peace of mind. Hahaha! Finally, finally, I can, with you-
Do you realize how long I’ve waited for this moment?
How does it feel when I grind up against the deepest parts of this place? It feels good, right?
I feel good too.
The expression of you writhing in agony is nice. When I think about how I’m the one who made you like that…it’s worth coming this far and never giving up.
Hey, hey, I’m begging you please call me big brother. Please.
That’s right. More. More.
What do you think of this position? If I place your legs on top of my shoulders like this, I can clearly see the place where we’re joined.
Penetrated by me many many times over, plus I’m rubbing against a spot that’s more pleasurable than last time so it’s unbearable, right?
‘Big brother,’ right?
Then let’s climax one more time together with this big brother.
It might be a little painful but please bear with it.
I love you. I love you.
I’m gonna cum.
I came lots inside you. Can you tell that this place has become hot?
Call my name like you did at that time……
No, it’s nothing.
Track 5: Unpleasant Noise
Oh, it’s you. Please don’t startle me, okay?
There’s still time before the Master leaves, so I’m in the middle of taking a break right now. How about you?
Then we’re the same.
Come here. Because it’s been busy here lately, it was lonely not being able to spend much time together. And yet, it’s unavoidable since you’re becoming increasingly more cute. I wonder why that is?
It can’t be helped when we’re around everyone else, but could you at least call me by my name when we’re alone together like this?
What? It’s nothing to be shy about, right? I’m your lover, no?
Mhm, that works.
Haha! Did you hear that radio just now?
Uh-huh, it appears that another incident has happened. This time it’s 2 people at once, an earl’s lazy son and a professional gambler from Asakusa. They’re a worthless lot, serves them right.
Pitiful? It’s nice that they’re still alive, no?
What did you say just now? You feel bad for them?
These scumbags have committed no crimes? Why do you think that? Or are you perhaps criticizing the criminal?
You can’t imagine the thoughts that led up to this point, and yet you’re…
That’s because society simply chose to turn their backs on it. This world’s indifferent to such things, you know!?
Why do I know?
Ah look, the second son is searching for you, so it’s best if you go before he raises his temper.
Regardless of which man you speak to, don’t you dare forget about me, okay?
Well then, take care.
Track 6: Wrongdoings
Are you okay? Did I push you too far?
Even though right now I know your good spots better than you, yourself, are you still gonna be embarrassed like that?
Come here. No matter how many times we join our bodies, I continue to desire it.
I might not be able to live without you anymore.
I don’t mind if you sleep here, you don’t have the energy to return to your own room, right?
Sleeping so pleasantly, I wonder what kind of dream you’re seeing tonight?
Today everything will end. Once I dispose of him, then surely, there’d be no need for you to have dreadful nightmares.
You…because of you, her memories, HER MEMORIES WITH ME WERE STOLEN FROM HER!!!
“In the cool evening, a good man, is born.”
Ah, who’s there!? Tch. How do you plan to take responsibility for getting in my way of killing him-
!? Why are you here?
You weren’t asleep…? And you followed me.
Yes, that’s right, I’m the culprit behind the Kikaku incidents. 3 years ago you fell from the staircase of a Shinto shrine and sustained serious injuries, no?
You regained consciousness, but the memories from before you arrived in Tokyo were completely lost.
You understand up to this point, right?
Is that so? However, that wasn’t an accident, the son of the Sata Earldom pushed you off. At some point, the shitty son took notice of you and it appeared that you rejected him.
For a young master, that must’ve angered him.
He schemed with his followers and of all things, he set off to take revenge on you.
Naturally, an incident in which a member of the Sata Earldom caused injury to another wouldn’t be made public. The affair was covered up and the part of your memories that holds the truth was buried in darkness.
But I couldn’t allow that.
Why that is?
I see, to you, until we became lovers, I was merely a fellow co-worker. And as for why I took revenge on them…
That’s because you and I are fiancees.
In our hometown, because of our parent’s generation’s expectations, I, who was discriminated against, was always aloneーーuntil the day I met you.
I was absorbed in reading books inside the bamboo groves where no one could interfere.
But one day, you appeared.
A girl that was slightly younger than me was playing around here and there with her favorite glass toy. Glass toys were highly expensive in those times, after all.
And I thought, ahh, this girl must be really loved.
……And completely different from me.
In the beginning, I somewhat hated you for being different from me. However, I slowly grew to love the way that you called me “Big brother, big brother”.
At some point, I fell deeply in love with you.
But you ended up having to leave with your parents to Tokyo, I promised to come meet you in Tokyo one day and from there we parted.
Did you think it was just a mere verbal promise between children?
That promise was what kept me up.
And yet, after abandoning everything that bound me and obtaining a new name and a new career, when we finally reunited, YOU DIDN’T REMEMBER ME AT ALL!!!
It was unforgettable, do you understand just how precious the memories you lost were?!! How could you possibly understand the feeling of a miserable man who fought through hell only to lose you!?
For the sake of moving to the capital, I began working for the Ougi family as their driver but having lost your memories and both your parents, for you to have been taken in by the Ouji family, you can only really call that fortunate.
And then at the same time, I thought of this as my duty, to love you, to protect you, and that I ought to eradicate anything which causes you harm.
After that, it’s exactly as you know it.
What you saw in my room the other day, do you remember the slightly sunburned book of Kikaku’s haikus?
Yes, it’s the one I read out to you. You see, that book was originally owned by you. In that bamboo grove, I read this book that you received from your father together with you. I don’t think you remember it though.
In losing one’s place in the memories of the person you love and tormented by a sense of meaninglessness every single day, that book was packed with memories I had with you.
It was the sole item that gave me a sense of you.
A comical state suits a laughable man, no? These targeted cases are extremely hilarious, right?
The priest was pushed into a river, Imazono’s pavilion was burned down, and his driver’s car was tampered with, with the intent to cause an accident. Earl Kikunaga’s son and a gamester were assaulted and suspended upon a tree.
And finally, I was planning to dispose of the hated son of the Sata Earldom.
The reason? If no one is going to judge them, then I have no choice but to judge them myself, no?
I shouldn’t have done so?
Why!? Why did you say such a thing?!! Why do you have MORE FEELINGS for those that hurt you and NOT ME?!! That’s too much, don’t you think???
Please, I’m begging you. PLEASE REMEMBER ME…!!!
Epilogue: The Smell of Summer
What business do you have with an ex-convict who was just released?
You’re a lot more mature than the last time I saw you. Though 3 years have passed, so it’s only to be expected.
It’s hot today, isn’t it? I can prepare some tea, but if you’d like, why don’t we go and rest?
Then, go ahead.
Hmm? Oh, it’s not like there’s any poison in it. During those incidents, I never used poison, did I?
Ah no, that was poor of me just now. Sorry.
Did you hear of my past from the Master? Because it seemed like the Master put in a good word for me. I never imagined that a release via a pardon would be allowed.
Bodily injury, arson, damage to property, physical assault, and attempted murder.
Normally anyone would cut ties with a person with such criminal history. I was resolved for the possibility that we’d never again meet.
The second son…? Did he tell you my location?
Is that so? I wonder what that guy was thinking.
So you’ve heard that as well. Yes, when I was stepped on by the police, it broke in a weird way, so it’s a bit difficult to walk on my right leg without a cane.
Prison was hell, but when I think about meeting you again, it was easy.
I don’t regret what I’ve done, however, I ought not to forget that that savage also has a family.
I haven’t been called that you since the time you regained your memories.
But I’m sorry, your kind big brother no longer exists.
It’s not because I’m the same as before. I made a promise with the Master when I received that pardon. I promised that I would apologize to the victims’ families, and to not complain even if I were beaten or even killed as a result.
And that, in using you as my motive, I’m no different from them.
Uh-huh, I can’t thank the Master enough.
The Master gave financial support to both you and your children? What do you mean-
Their Age? Sex? And what are their names?
I see, so where are the kids today?
If Madam is gladly watching over them then I’m relieved. …No, I guess I don’t have that right.
Apology? Why are you apologizing?
Everything was done on my own accords, so if anything, the one who ought to apologize is me.
I’ve hurt you with my self-righteousness, and in the end, I’ve fulfilled none of my duties as a father. And for future’s sake, I have no right to speak with you like I am now.
I truly am sorry.
I guess so. We took quite the detour.
You’re going to allow me to see the children? To live together, what a foolish-
That’s the reason you came…? Are you saying that you came to get me?
Are you sure about this? I’m an ex-convict, you know? More importantly, with the state that my body’s in, I’m sure it’ll cause hardships for both you and the children.
Are you saying that you’d still want to live together with me despite that?
Umm, is it okay if I touch you?
To be able to hold you again like this…
The crimes I’ve committed will never disappear, but even so, for the sake of both you and the kids, I’ll live.
During that period, there’s one thing I ultimately never said.
Both now and then, I love you.
Another Epilogue: The Ruin of What Love Once Was
Hey, why are you silent!? Say something!!!
Stop? DON’T STRUGGLE!
HahahaHAHAHA!!! To call me with honorifics, are you STILL planning on DEFYING ME!?
Why? Why are you…?
You’re memories not returning, that’s a lie, to deny me like that, it’s not possible.
Your insides are really warm. For the warmth I feel at the end of my life to be yours, isn’t that the best?
I TOLD YOU NOT TO STRUGGLE DID I NOT…?!!
Looks like we ended up in an even tougher position, but I’ll thrust up against the depths that you love most.
I love it, it feels so good that I can’t stop my hips.
Hey, you obviously feel good, right?
It’s pointless even if you deny it like that, because your body is tightening around me so honestly.
To say a bunch of lies to trouble me, you really are a naughty girl.
You came just now, didn’t you? Your insides tightened, you know?
In these final moments, please call me ‘big brother’ once more. SAY IT!!!
I’ll never let you feel fear nor loneliness, that’s what I promised, no?
Can you pass on first and wait for me? Big brother will follow soon after, okay?
So this is the ruin of what my love once was.