Disclaimer：I cannot guarantee the complete accuracy of this translation
CV: Nakazawa Masatomo (中澤まさとも)
Special Track: Scelta
!? Why are you here……
Haa, I see…so you died again eh. At any rate, you ought not to remain here. Pass through that area and return back onto your path.
Or perhaps after witnessing all outcomes, have you come to desire the truth?
>> I wish to know
……I understand. Well then, the me that’s present here right now shall excuse themselves.
Oh? It’s rare for you to be here. No…this might possibly be the first.
I have a question to ask you as well. Why have you traveled this deep? And this space isn’t a figment of your dreams to begin with.
This is the path that I walk.
Speaking based on your intuition, let’s just say this is the entrance…….to my heart. In any case, this is a path that you normally cannot take.
For now, let leave aside of the topic of where this is…and allow me to advise you first.
If you continue walking into this darkness, you’ll come to know what you do not wish to know. After all, from here onward is the mind of someone that isn’t you.
To be frank, I do not wish for you to continue. However, after awakening, the you right now has no choice but to continue. And so in the end……I recommend that you proceed.
Yes, it’s advice. Regardless of what’s ahead, you need to prepare your heart per say no?
……Ah, I’ve forgotten that there exists one more option.
If you do not wish to proceed, then you can simply turn back. By doing so, you’ll be forced back into reality. Either way, it all depends on you.
I suppose so. There are matters you ought to attend to in the real world, so is it not better if you return?
Well then, the me that’s present here right now shall excuse themselves. Oh, if a door happens to appear, open it. That is the entrance and also the exit.
Having intended to become more clever than everything else that had lived, I who lived in the midst of the forest had been horribly foolish. I continued on observing day after day as considerably less intelligent members of my species simply lived and died.
Although they are capable of communicating with one another, there was never a moment where an understanding was reached and so consequently they were always lonely.
However, I accepted that as fine. At least accepting it……was supposed to my plan.
If that means copulating with something of lowly intelligence and leaving behind a lineage then living alone would be easier――I desperately drilled into my head that I wouldn’t lose to loneliness.
Then came the events of that particular day. As a result of not becoming close to anyone, I was caught in a trap. The reality is, I who had prideful for being smarter than others had been caught in a trap meant for baby rabbits of all things.
Well, it might’ve been only natural. I had no parents nor partner to warn me of such dangers. Without another individual to exchange experiences with, one’s field of vision gradually narrows.
I understood the errors of my ways, but I was unwilling to acknowledge it.
I was scared. And since this mind that was said to have been mutant had not been by another female……I became anxious.
That’s why I attempted frantically to shake off the steel that consumed my leg somehow and prove that even alone, I can survive.
As I continued my pointless struggle, blood continued to flow.
My breathing became labored amidst the intense pain, my vision hazed and my consciousness slowly began to fade……and in the end, strength began to leave my entire body.
Because of my laughable ego, I will die without leaving behind offspring. With this as the undeniable truth, I give up.
I once heard from peddling men that a fox god created all living being this world, but if there truly was a god then why did they create me?
Born alone and dying alone, was there any meaning to this stagnant life?
Since this was already the end, I abandoned my pride and pondered aimlessly……
Then, a single woman appeared and kneeled down at my side. She was a woman with beauty like no other. Whilst speaking the line “how dreadful”, she stared down at me motionlessly with a face that lacked the slightest hint of unrest.
This woman might by some chance be, the culprit who set up that trap.
An explosive anger welled up inside me and I bit the woman with the resolve to die. Even if I get brutalized to death, in my final moments, I will strike revenge.
The taste of blood spread inside my mouth.
By injuring the woman, I thought “Aah, I’m still alive.”
Once wasn’t enough to calm my emotion and so I viciously chomped down a second and a third time. But as I continued to bite her, an out of place sensation was born inside me.
Why does this woman not scream? Why is this woman not angered?
Feeling strange, I stopped gnawing and the woman smiled and spoke in a soft voice as though to comfort me, “You’re the same as me. Without hurting others, you can no longer sense that you’re alive.”
Despite being prepared to die earlier, I was curious. I wonder how this woman with the same state of mind as me, who should’ve been death felt living day to day.
I want to know her. Instead of biting, I want to try touching her.
Come to think of it, this was the moment I first took an interest in someone else.
Following that, with the treatment of the injury as the pretense, I came to reside in her mansion and was constantly beside her.
Whenever she had free time, she would come to chat with me and show a soft smile on her face. It was a beautiful expression that she would never show to other men.
I wonder when that was, at some point I noticed myself being healing in the presence of that smile. I wished to see an even happier face, but at the same time, an arrogance that I was “special” to her was born.
She only smiled towards me after all. Moreover, she laid bare secrets unknown to others.
Surely I was a male who could make her happy.
While my wounds healed, the thorns inside my heart melted away.
This unnoticed residence became an important place for both me and her. It was so comfortable to the point that I believed that you could never find such a paradise even if you scoured through the entire surface of this earth……even after a year has passed, even after 2 years have passed, I never returned to the forest.
The seasons cycled and the quiet times with me and her continued.
I think it was the spring of that second year. Resting my head on her lap, I heard a more deeply emotional voice than usual.
She had intended to die on that fateful day. ――When I heard that, I thought “I see.” And that is why we needed each other.
While chuckling, she continued to speak.
“You changed the fate of me who’d been left to rot. And so imparting the meaning of fate, I named you Verita, my cute little fox.”
Yes, my existence was as her words would imply――a fox.
Even if we’re together, we’re unable to exchange words, gazing upon her was I could do. No matter how many I called out to her in my mind, to her I was a mere beast.
This unalterable reality turned into a deep despair that rushed on towards me. This love without destination burned into my chest and I came to ridicule myself every day.
What’s so “special” about you?
You stupid damn fox. She only allowed it because the other party was an animal, there was once never any emotions directed towards you.
Despite being so close by, not being to stand and look at her eye-to-eye and not being able to touch her body the same way, was so frustrating I wanted to die.
When I saw the man who embraced her, I seriously considered biting them to death.
I rather all her love fail and for her to belong to just me.
……And for wishing that, I received divine punishment.
The night her love really did fail, a lightning strike caused the road to collapse and the horse-drawn carriage we rode dropped into the bottom of the valley.
Thanks to her holding me, I survived just barely……except she was on the edge on death.
As I nudged her with the tip of my nose, her painful smile at death’s door further deepened my despair.
If this was the result, I should’ve never wished for a split. I should’ve been more supportive of her love.
It’s heartbreaking that I cannot cry like a person.
It’s infuriating that I can’t protect her like a person.
Once I exhausted my regret, I was solely in anguish. And it was then when a fading voiced entered my ears.
She said this―”If I cannot decide my fate, then I wished to have at least seen the various possibilities.”
The moment I heard those words, my body trembled and tears shouldn’t have flowed, spilled out from my eyes.
I who’s worth nothing else, wish to grant it.
My feeling for her swelling up and overflowed from my body.
As though drawing on my emotions, my limbs grew steadily and extended outwards……and when I came to, I became a “man”.
At the same time, I came to a realization. ――I became an existence that is neither fox nor man. Perhaps this form is what people refer to as “God”.
I do not think of myself as a god, however, I understood the grounds for worship.
Most likely, it’s due to the special abilities that other beings lack.
All living creatures have the fate of “life and death”. Just like how one cannot intentionally choose to be born, on the same token death was inevitable. Nevertheless, what this world calls “God”, is capable of choosing.
Once I understood that, there was no hands I wouldn’t play. I utilized the power I just received and destroyed the “certainty” of her death. I myself did not comprehend the exact method. I simply wished for it.
I evaded her death, I became an existence that could touch her and I was ecstatic. During that time, feeling haughty, a smile formed at the edge of my mouth.
And it was at that time that I noticed a strange oddity about the face reflected in the broken mirror. My face resembled that of a man from a portrait I’ve seen before.
Staring intensely, I stopped breathing the moment I recognized who I resembled.
“Why……? I wanted to become the form you desired most and yet why did I end up with THIS FACE!?”
“NO! Change…change, chANGE, CHANGE!!! Aah, it’s no use, WHY WON’T IT CHANGE!?
“W-why…with this, she’ll never choose me……”
“She’ll n-never choose me……”
Amidst the agony of not being chosen, I was brought close to madness many times.
……No, I might’ve already gone insane.
If Giada’s hopeless, then Eduardo. If Eduardo’s hopeless, then Giada.
And each time I watched her die in front of my eyes, something inside me broke. Oh my dear princess. If you call me “fate”, then I――
!? My my, we have quite the unusual guest.
This is the first time you’ve entered this far. Frankly, I’m displeased.
Haha, did you think there exists someone who would be actually pleased when their mind is entered without permission?
Ah, that’s true. Since you came this far, you’ve realized haven’t you? …..The fact that I was Verita.
In any case, since you’ll forget once you return back to someplace in time. I’ll take this chance and tell you the reason why you came here.
It is perhaps a matter of numbers……the you that’s present here right now, must not have died merely once nor twice. As a result of the strange sense of repetition, the moment you died, your soul unknowingly searched for the root of the cause. And it wanted to know, “why was I in a loop?”
Hehe, picked up a god eh. I wonder about that. Whether I was a different existence from the start, or whether I changed after been driven into a corner, even I myself do not know the answer to that question.
The day it all began was the day you refused Giada’s love and fell to the bottom of the valley in a horse carriage. During that time you asked that “If I cannot decide my fate, then I wished to have at least seen the various possibilities.”
I who had been a fox accepted that wish, destroyed the “certainty” of your death and brought your over to Eduardo. I believed that if it was him, then surely it’d go well.
However, the outcome was disappointing. Things did not go well with him either. You threw yourself off a tower, and was so mangled it was irreparable……
From there, I decided to try Giada once more.
Since that seemed to be going well, so I had hopes that he might have the capability of opening up your heart after all.
In the aftermath of destroying that “certainty”, various possibilities were born to you.
First is “the you who became happy with Giada”, second was “the you who that rejected Giada”, third was “the you who became happy with Eduardo” and fourth was “the you who that rejected Eduardo”……then parting into innumerable timelines.
And I was there constantly observing that life of yours.
The reason why I did not appear obsessed with you was because I was semi-fed up with the repetitiveness of everything. I was aware that even if you die, we would meet again somewhere in time, so you could perhaps say that I became a complete bystander.
However, despite that, I did my best in the beginning. I tried everything so that you could be happy.
To start off, having not chosen Giada, I attempted to delay your departure to the capital. And in doing so, you were stabbed by a man while at the capital and robbed of your life.
Next, I refused the threesome with Eduardo. So instead, he brought in another man and you were horribly treated and then murdered by the man he called in.
……After thousands of attempts, I’ve discerned that ultimately, you could only become happy with those two people.
The problem was never the external factors, in the first place. It was your own mind. Since it was groomed from an early age, your disposition was far too warped.
No no, I’m not talking poorly of you. Like I’ve said at some point, I thought that part of you was also amusing.
Regardless, it’s certainly quite the annoying obstacle if left as is.
I wish I could go over 10 years into the past in order to improve upon this…but apparently, you believed that you should not go beyond the day you bought Giada it seems.
If only you were more selfish……you really are stubborn in weird ways.
Haha, yes, that’s correct. I appear free, but I’m rather limited.
I’m able to exercise my powers only when the said individual wishes for it.
No, I will not leave this place. If I am freed, there will be no one to start things over and somewhere along time you will die. That will waste all the efforts I spent over the tens of thousands of repeats, so I don’t want to.
I’d like to just say, this is not love.
In recent years, it’s become fun to reside within infinite time as a god. It may be willful of me, but I do not wish for you to get in the way of my entertainment.
Hahaha. Could it be that you became sympathetic after viewing the contents of my heart? You truly are good-natured.
Since this is the inside of my mind, it wouldn’t be strange of me to lie to myself about own my intentions no?
You’re quite persistent. After all that I’ve told you, why are you still doubtful? You’ll become happy once you leave here, and I’ll look forward to that result. Is that not a good thing? This is the best option for both of us.
Yes, it’s ideal for me at very least.
When I think of how I’ll be able to embrace you each time I restart, rather it’s a perk.
Haha, why are you angry? Although I was playing around, I made you happy, so instead, you should thank me.
Heh. Money has absolutely no meaning here.
What I want……is your kiss.
I’m not referring to that. It’s quite fun to kiss you while looking at your annoyed face. For me, it’s an irreplaceable joy like no other.
A splendid terrible aftertaste. So will you kiss me or will you not?
Hehe, thank you. Well then…..allow me to dig in.
……To be honest, I hate you. I’ve thought countless times of killing the you who refused readily act the way I imagined. Watching that you die time and time again was very enjoyable.
Yes, more than anything, it was fun.
Fufu, as I thought, your angry face is cute too. When I think of seeing this face again at some place in time, my heart is rife with excitement.
Farewell, my detestable master. We will probably never again meet in this place
Now then, please open that door and climb those stairs. By doing so, you’ll be able to start over once more.
Quick. You do not have much time. If you stay here any longer the door will disappear and you can no longer return.
What’s wrong? Please hurry up.
…I do not need your gratitude. I am merely playing around with your life.
That door will no longer open. With that, there is something I’d like to tell you.
That time when I destroy your “certainty”, it wasn’t for fun nor out of obligation. The reason I saved you was because…
I saved you because……I loved you.
It may be selfish, but I wanted at least you to be happy.
If possible, I wanted to be the one to make you happy but…even after thousands, tens of thousands of tries, you never chose me, and so I’ve decided to simply watch over you.
It’s pointless. I’ve told you already that once closed it’ll never again open. And I……have no intention of opening it.
Farewell, my beloved master. No matter how many times this love is crushed, I’ll continue to love you. I’ll always be by your side. So please, somehow, please be happyーーthat is my one and only wish.
Even if it wrecked my hands, I wanted to bash down on this door and destroy it. It’s distressing that he’s trapped in this distorted time because of me.
Though I clawed at the door, I could no longer hear his voice.
While clenching my slowly trembling hands, I crouched down. My chest is in pain as if my heart is crushed. And it’s difficult to breathe.
And as I continued to spill tears within this crazed space in time……I soon realized that crying is useless.
What will save him are not my tears. But rather, my hands in reality.
I ascended the invisible stairs with a sense of challenge. A tiny light could be seen above when examined carefully. Stretching out my hands and smiling wholeheartedly, it was the same as the time I first met Verita.
From here on out, is a test of our endurance.
Until an outcome is reached一一our timeline will continue.