Disclaimer：I cannot guarantee the complete accuracy of this translation
親愛なるタナトス 第二巻 侵食
CV: Makino Hideki (牧野秀紀)
Track 1: Temporary Resignation
You, why are you here in this place?
I knew it, the department manager opened their mouth didn’t they? And so you went out of your way to come over to my house?
For the time being, sit down and compose yourself okay?
I’m sorry for causing you concern, but they recently brought Morita into the project team, haven’t they?
The role has been properly transferred over as to ensure the lack of delays and besides he should be far more flexible to work alongside than I am.
I do apologize for suddenly disappearing, however, I’ve intended it in a way such that the selected personnel will not become one of hindrance.
And so the issue you speak of, what type of issue is it?
I guess so, it’s true that we’ve always been together up until now, but this and that are two completely different matters.
Despite you saying that it’s to mentally prepare yourself……
At any rate, you’ve grasped the situation right? Am I not mistaken? That’s why I was right to not mention it.
Though, I didn’t think we’d meet here.
For you to worry about me to this extent was beyond my calculations.
To leave without saying a word to my subordinates, I’m the worst superior aren’t I?
Even if I were to tell you why, once you hear it, you’ll surely be astounded.
You haven’t changed, you’re still far too trusting of me.
Thank you, but the superior that you admired so much is just a pathetic man.
……I’m tired of living.
Well? It’s shocking right?
Nevertheless, this is the reason for my temporary resignation. I haven’t done anything particularly horrible nor did anything particularly unpleasant happen.
Quite simply, I sensed that this life has reached its limit.
Something you’re able to do?
Hmm, then could you please avoid seeing me?
I wish to be alone for the time being, since that was the purpose of my resignation after all.
These are heartless words towards you, who were merely concerned towards me, and I’m very well aware of that. However, I’m saying this for your own sake, so I hope you can understand that.
Sorry, if I ever reinstate my position, then let’s work together again…….
Look, it’s already late so let’s go back.
I’ll escort you until we get to the train station.
Track 2: Slight Reasons
…….It’s you again.
The other day I told you to not see me again didn’t I?
Hmm? That bag is…?
I understand but please return home after we finish dinner okay?
I’m not that much of a demon and besides, it’ll be a shame to let the ingredients go to waste.
Aah, this smell is the room fragrance over there that I’ve bought. It’s a pretty nice scent don’t you think?
At first, the aim was to deodorize the house but changing scents according to the seasons gradually became more fun. So recently, whenever I go inside stores, I just instantly take note of them.
Even the room of a man living by themselves would become a little florid.
Oh, sorry that I’ve got so much clutter inside my house. That said, the kitchen’s clean.
I suppose so, I guess it’s surprising?
When you first joined the company you were much more introverted. And then for you to do something so daring, I’m honestly frightened by that kindness of yours at times.
Ah no, it’s nothing.
Here you go.
I believe this should be more or less the completed set of seasonings.
Also the plates are inside that cupboard and the chopsticks are in this drawer. If there’s anything else you’d need, please don’t hesitate to ask.
Ah, you got an apron?
You’ll end up dirtying your suit, I’d be glad to lend you mine, but they’re probably a bit big right?
Is that so? You’re well prepared, aren’t you?
Then hand me your bag and jacket and I’ll place them on the other side for you.
No, the thing I like is I guess meat. Specifically, I like raw meat.
Really? Meat sashimi is delicious, you know? Lately, there’s been specialty restaurants popping up so I think it’s relatively mainstream.
Things I hate? Hmm, nothing in particular I suppose.
By the way, what are you cooking for today?
Well, I’ll be looking forward to it.
Uh ah sorry, it’s sort of a habit. I often stopped the bleeding this way. I’m really sorry for startling you.
Oh I see, normally you’d wash it clean with water.
If I remember correctly, the band-aids should be here. Ah, it’s there. Give me your hand, I’ll place it on for you.
This should be okay.
Ah, I’ll help out too. Would it be okay if I cut the ingredients here?
You’ve tried with your hardest haven’t you?
The truth is, I remember the fact that you’ve told me before that you weren’t great at cooking. That’s why I was secretly concerned, but I thought it would be terrible of me to outright say it since it would disregard your feelings.
I knew. While seated during a drinking party, you drunkenly said, “Will I be able to get a boyfriend once I’m finally able to cook?”
It’s not anything to be ashamed about, everyone’s got something they don’t excel at.
Well, cooking can be called my hobby, so I’d say it’s my forte. However, if you say I’m capable of anything…I’ll deny it. I’m not some perfect human.
Yes, that’s right.
Let me guess based on the ingredients. Hmm, tonight’s dish is beef stew right?
I’m correct. Now then allow me to chop up the rest of the ingredients and can you start sauteing the beef?
Is that so…? I’ve never entertained another person with my cooking so being complimented is a little embarrassing.
If you’re too openly aware of being poor at a task, you’ll end up performing even worse. That’s why, relax your shoulders and let’s start from a point where you feel comfortable, after all, this isn’t the office anymore.
See? You’d immediately praise me.
Haha, then I can’t afford to fail in front of you.
Ah…could you include these onions inside too? Hmm, it might be better if you simmer it at low heat and uh after is some red wine.
Hmm. Mmm, it’s tasty. You don’t have to be so self-conscious, I had fun too.
Eh? Is it that shocking?
Hmm, was it that hard to read my emotions?
But I was indeed enjoying myself though and besides, I practically never surround myself with anyone when it comes to the dining table so it’s a refreshing experience.
Cooking alone, eating alone…it’s all just work.
Hmm? Eh? Meals…? Do you mean us together?
You remember what I told you before right?
It’s true I said to please return home after we finish dinner…
Is it that? Haha, I’m beaten. I wonder why is it that I’m weak to your requests?
However, at the very least keep it to just one day per week, I don’t want to become a liability for you.
Also, you must promise me one thing: that you must always inform me beforehand whenever you come here.
Heh, as always your replies feel nice.
Being together with you makes me realize that my life is riddled with mistakes.
No, I meant in a sense that my common sense as a human being is missing. You see I…this personality is by all means based on efficiency and cost and benefit analysis so I tend to think of things manually.
In short, I’m a boring person who’s only a visage.
But you are the opposite. Your excellent sensitivities allow you to insert yourself into others shoes.
I think it’s a point of strength to naturally think the same way as your opponents.
That’s why when you became my subordinate, each day was filled with new discoveries, and work had been fun. I might be saying myself, but after being caught up in it, my expressions have softened.
Haha, how should I say it, I’m moving my mouth quite a lot today.
I’m sure it’s been a while since I’ve felt this satisfied.
It’s not that I’m finally taking care of my health okay? After my parents divorced I’ve always been this way, or rather from the very beginning, my personal diet was unbalanced.
So why are you making such a sad face right now? Is that you grieving in my stead?
Even though no one asked for it, you’re doing some very peculiar things. Perhaps that is your kindness as well?
It may be poor of me to say it, but I’m plain doubtful because, in the end, our relationship is that of a superior and their subordinate…and otherwise strangers.
Despite that, why would you go so far for my sake?
Huh? I don’t dislike it so why?
You wouldn’t think of meeting someone you hate privately, would you?
…..And I’m the same.
That aside, did you know that two people dining alone is a sign of forgiveness?
I’m sorry that it’s hard to communicate, but I hope you can wholeheartedly forgive me. And so, thank you for worrying about someone like me.
Even in the past, it was often said that I lacked words. When I was young it was simply “Thank you” or “I’m sorry”. The reason I only touched on these two basic lines of communication was because I thought that there wouldn’t be any issues if utilized appropriately.
But reality was different, there were never any emotions present so I couldn’t communicate with others.
Well, I was the one that told myself it was fine not being able to communicate. Just that each time you make that expression, I believe I should maybe convey my feelings using a more different set of words, is what I end up thinking.
I wonder why that is?
Not just forgiveness in your heart, perhaps I might want to advance beyond that.
I had the thought earlier, but you’ve got extremely beautiful hair. And also, a nice scent.
Aah, I wonder if it’s shampoo.
So delicate, if I were to apply a bit of strength it seems like it would immediately snap.
The thought of this frail body desperately struggling to survive is very excit-no, this is wrong. This isn’t how it should be……
Hah, I felt like I’ll go crazy from smelling your scent.
Ah, lips aren’t it. I’m sorry.
No, I’m in the wrong.
I knew it, it won’t work. Please forget everything that was said during this meal, I’ll bring you up to the train station so please return home.
I’m begging you, please don’t trouble me any further…
Track 3: Erroneous Passion
Since when did you become my stalker?
You’re far too persistent. To come all the way here, you must’ve had something to say right?
I won’t know if you stay silent. State your business and quickly.
Hah!? You like…me?
Is that so? Those were the words that I never wished to hear. Because I noticed, I had hoped to create some distance.
Being together with you is painful.
No, it’s not that. I have a reason as to why I can’t grant you happiness.
……If it was something that could be easily said then I would’ve told you already.
You’d accept everything? That’s just mouth talk.
I don’t wish to trouble you any further.
To not confess and to not be rejected, I intended to have it end whilst still remaining a beautiful memory inside my mind. Despite that you, no many times I decline, you’d still arrive at my house telling me you were worried…and I was floored.
Ha, of course, I’d give up.
I’m okay with it.
If you’re going to say it to that extent, I tell you. You know that the managing director we were employed under is my father right?
At first glance, you’d see that I was born into an affluent family, but the reality was different. He was crazy obsessed with money and women and would never come home. Ignoring his pregnant bride, he’d frequent the house of his many loversーthe worst kind of father.
Due to the stress my mother experienced pre-childbirth, she became emotionally unstable postpartum. If she were off the medication prescribed by the doctors, she’d turn hysteric.
Life rapidly deteriorated beyond the point of neglect.
When I was young the words my mother would often tell me were that “it would’ve been better if you were never born,” I guess.
The height of pampering was me living tepidly as to not sour my mother’s mood and avoid getting struck. And because I was always fearful about something, I ended up being heavily bullied in both elementary and middle school.
Truthfully, for what reason was I born?
For a human who was raised inside such an environment…proper communication with others is near impossible.
Once I became an adult, those in my surroundings mistakenly believed that I was agreeable regardless, that I was proficient at my job, that my family’s got money and that I win at every facet of life.
Just about everyone that had approached me were lured in by that outside perception. After all, people look towards others for those reasons.
No one knew the slightest bit of my suffering.
And in times where people tried to understand, there had been nothing more than one-sided jealousy.
And that’s why I’m scared of people.
I don’t know the pain in people’s hearts nor do I know how to bring a person joy and mere conversing is painful.
It always feels as though my breathing would be obstructed.
The words that would finally come out of my mouth is an empty “thank you” or “I’m sorry”, it’s laughable right?
I who’s like that, do you really believe I’d be able to make anyone……to make you happy?
Ah…could it be that you’re crying in my stead this time? You’re such a goodhearted person, aren’t you?
If the person you like feels sad, would you yourself feel sad?
Hmm…ah, is that so? So that’s what it was. Ever since we met again, the reason I felt pained was because you were suffering, right?
I’ve finally got it. I had liked you as well.
As expected, my pajamas are big on you.
Really? I’m glad you took a liking to them. Your suit has finished drying a while ago so I’ll go iron your shirts in the morning.
You’ve got work tomorrow, don’t you? …So allow me to do at least this much.
Whenever I do this, I feel rather relieved.
For the time being, I won’t be able to speak with you.
Ahh…I guess so.
Then, how about you take a break from work?
That way we can always stay together. From now on, I’d like to share more time with you.
Just kidding, you have your own life to live so I won’t interfere.
Eh? It’s okay if I don’t restrain myself? ……I see. If you say it like that, I’ll steadily become more greedy, you know?
Sorry, it appears that I have a biting habit. It hurt right?
Heh? You belong to me?
Well, I suppose it’s somewhat akin to a marking. But please don’t say such a cute thing in a moment like this, I won’t be able to hold back.
Hey, let’s go over to the bed.
What’s wrong? Why? It feels good though…?
I’m bonded together with the beloved you like this after all.
You’re asking such strange things.
It feels good obviously. Does it feel good for you too?
Is that so, I’m glad.
Track 4: Last Chance
At what time are you likely to come tomorrow? You said you had errands to run before that didn’t you?
I got it. Around 7 o’clock, right?
Just as a precaution, could you please get in touch with me near the time you’d arrive?
I’ll finish preparations before then.
It’s the 1 month anniversary of us dating, after all, so allow me to treat you. Since it seems as though I’d be able to get my hands on some nice ingredients……so I thought I’d take a swing at things.
Mhm. Look forward to it.
Good night, I’ll see you tomorrow.
Ahh, it’s spilling out. What a waste.
Hmm. Ugh, this one’s got an awful lot of subcutaneous fat, but well, if I properly season then boil… It should be okay, right?
I wonder if she’d be pleased?
To have someone to eat together with is such a joyful thing. I guess I should prepare a slightly larger portion?
You’ve already arrived……?
You’re rather early, when did you contact me I wonder? Hey, I haven’t received any messages nor incoming calls though?
Oh, I’m sorry for startling you.
I had directly procured some meat from the usual butcher shop that I patronage. And today I got my hands on quite the fine bird, so I wound up losing myself.
Oh, this blood? Don’t worry, this isn’t my blood, it’s the blood of that bird.
Could it be that you’re worried about me?
Ah, you’re such a kind person.
Eh? Odd? Me…?
That’s why I said earlier…this is bird blood. I applied too much strength in handling it, so the blood splattered all over my face.
Hmm? Heh. Hahahaha, that’s right what you see over there…
……Isn’t a bird.
I wonder why you always have such poor timing?
Hey, from the time we’ve met and until today, do you know how many chances I’ve given you?
This will be the last, if you’re able to guess the correct answer I’ll overlook it. However, you must forget everything you’ve seen just now, for your own sake as well.
So how many times has it been?
Too bad, wrong answer.
A bit of blood is oozing out……..
Aah, are you so happy that you began crying? That’s what is it, right? Whenever I do this, you could sense that you were mine and become overjoyed, right?
Then I’ll leave even more for you.
It’s punishment so of course, it hurts.
I’ll apologize for my behavior earlier okay? But even so, contact with you requires a unique level of reason.
In response, I issued a leave of absence so that I could distance myself from you.
Since long ago, I was afraid of closeness with anything still living. I didn’t know how to approach feelings of love.
So first it was insects, then animals.
I became interested in humans around the time I graduated high school. They had taken interest in me on my way home from school and told me that they wished to become my friend.
To have finally made a friend, I was happy, and that’s why I invited them over to this house. But I wasn’t sure what we should talk about, so……
I killed them.
As expected that time I was losing my head, I had to do something.
However, while peering down upon his mangled body, I strangely began to forget the anguish brought upon by loneliness. I guess it was from that point onward that I started laying my hands on those that would love me.
Seeing the number of friends increasing made me extremely happy.
Whilst repeating such an act, it changed into a desire to assimilate with those I loved.
……I was lonely.
I began wondering what I should do and so I thought to take them inside my body.
Liberated from my solitude, I began living alongside everyone else.
Naturally, inside my head, I knew it was unforgivable. And so I became a member of society and buried myself under work.
I believed by doing so I’d escape those desires towards loving another.
Amidst thatーーyou appeared.
A carefree smile without the slightest idea of the person that I am. For me, who could never become normal, you were the kind of person I’d most wish to become.
On the other hand, you were also the last person I should ever fall in love with.
But no matter how many times I pushed you away, you’d still trust me. Whilst watching you pursue me, I realized that God was telling me that this is the person of your destiny.
This one month has been truly joyful. And at the same time, painful. At the very least I wanted to appear as a normal boyfriend in front of you.
Hey, I was a good boyfriend, right?
And from now on, allow me to continue being that good boyfriend……
It’ll be okay, as long as you still love me, I won’t do anything particularly horrible. That’s why you should allow me to love you the same way I had before.
You know, I’m rather short-tempered, so try not to anger me too much, okay?
Entwine your tongue more properly.
You said that you enjoyed kisses right? Normally, we’d do this a lot right?
Why are you against it?
You were going to accept the current me, right?
See, your body is trembling.
I wonder what would happen if I teased your breasts along with it too.
Your nipples are already sticking out. Did you enjoy being pinched that much?
It’s fine, let out your voice.
Look, it feels good right?
This time I’ll tease it with my tongue…
Just like that, the part of you that sometimes isn’t honest is cute as well.
Look, your underwear is already this wet. It makes me happy.
Let’s take this off okay?
Seems like one’s easily in, but this won’t be enough at this rate, right?
Ah look, can you tell?
It’s grown rather accustomed and it’s steadily flowing out. Even if you say this and that, when I churn it up with my nail like this, you start trembling right?
I want you to let me see a lot more of your cute bits.
…..Don’t hold back.
It feels good right?
There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. If one’s beloved girlfriend is feeling this good then it’s a happy thing, for the boyfriend.
Hehe, seems like you came properly. I’m glad.
Aah, it dripped all the way to the floor. Isn’t it the first time you’re this wet?
Oh, did you get excited because it’s a different place than usual?
I’ll lick it clean for you.
Relax your legs more.
If I bite this place down below, you won’t be able to hold back your voice right?
I’ve properly remembered all your good spots.
Did you cum again?
I wonder if you enjoy sex with me that much?
I’m happy. You see, I love it too. That’s why I want to make you feel…more, even more pleasure.
I thought we’d go over to the bed, but a situation like this is nice from time to time.
Look, I too am aroused and have gotten this hard.
Such wonderful noise, this is the proof of being wanted by you right?
Your insides are hot.
So doing it raw, felt this……good.
Your warmth is being transferred to me and also you came a lot so it’s really tightening down.
Don’t worry. Afterwards, I’ll make sure to pour it all inside you.
It feels great. I’m so aroused that my mind is going crazy.
Having sex with me feels good right?
Hey, are you not going to squeeze me like usual today?
Come on, wrap your hands around my neck. You said that you enjoyed doing it while being kissed, right?
That’s right, I’m sorry, I tied them up a little earlier. If you promise me that you won’t flee then I’ll unbind you.
Can you promise me that?
Mmm, like I thought, you’re a good girl.
Now then, tighten around me with those hands the same way as usual okay?
As expected, this is nice. I can kiss you this way and we’re able to be this glued together.
Your insides are twitching, it’s too cute.
Even if you tell me to let you go, rest assured, I have no intention of letting you go.
Can I let it out all at once?
Whoa. Heh. Hey, how was your first creampie?
I went a tad overboard and came lots…
Hmm? Are your tears still not stopping?
Did you know that tears are made from blood? …Despite the color and taste being so different.
But I much prefer blood though.
See? The beautiful blood is oozing out from the nape of your neck.
Your blood is this delicious you know?
Look, can you tell? …It’s so sweet it makes my head spin.
I’ve never experienced this feeling before.
This is because I love you right?
I want more. I’ve always endured it up until now, in my dreams I’ve sucked your blood countless times and bit down on your weak spots.
You see, I tried really hard to feel good from normal sex.
……I’ve gotten erect again.
I want to be connected with you even further, I want to become one with you.
Your back hurts a little right?
How about we try doing it standing this time? We still haven’t done that yet right?
Come on, stand up.
Are you not able to stand on your own?
Can’t be helped, I’ll support you. Could you lean against that wall?
Yes, that’s right.
In this position, it’s easier to suck blood and I could reach even deeper like this no?
How is it?
Please call out my name like usual. That way I could sense that I’m needed by you, that I’m loved by you.
Hey, I’m begging you.
I’m right here.
If you’re willing to accept it then, even a love of this form is okay, right? If the two of us are happy then it’s fine, right?
Turn your face this way.
I love, I really love you.
It doesn’t matter what happens to or what anyone else besides you think. As long as you remain by my side, I’ll be happy.
So please don’t go anywhere.
I’m sorry that I’m this kind of man……
That’s why I told you that I couldn’t make you happy.
Track 5: A Toast
Oh, good morning.
I’m relieved, I had just finished preparing everything.
What’s wrong? This is the 1 month anniversary of us dating, right?
Come, let’s celebrate together.
Hmm? I’m not particularly angry.
You were tired of waiting and fell asleep right? Your innocent sleeping face was adorable.
Hmm? Since you were looking forward to it, I went into it with enthusiasm.
Sit down here.
Hmm? What’s wrong? Are you still half-asleep?
If it’s about the paperwork, you’ve done it before you came, so now would be time spent with me right?
Look, I’ve ordered some wine for today.
You said you would drink if it was sweet right?
Let’s have a toast.
Haha, your hand’s shaking.
Oh, is the room cold? Once you eat the food, I’m sure you’ll warm up.
You see, I’m really happy to have met you. It may sound like an exaggeration but I’ve been saved by you.
This is the first time I’ve truly felt that I’m glad to have been alive. The normal happiness that I could never have obtained no matter how much I triedーyou’ve given it to me.
Two people at a dinner table, celebrating an anniversary.
Talking indiscreetly and enjoying the times with just the two of us. Looking forward to today, discussing our next plans and sensing what the future may hold.
A modest thing, but natural to those around me. I had always wanted and desired it.
I’m truly grateful.
This debt, I shall repay over the remainder of my life.
Today, as a show of my gratitude, I’ve put my best effort into making these dishes.
I would specifically recommend this tomato soup and to try eating it together with this baguette. I’ll be happy if you take a liking to them.
Oh, I’ve prepared desserts for today too.
Whatever it is, I’d like you to look forward to it.
From now on, I’ll be in your care.
……And cheers to our future happiness.