Disclaimer：I cannot guarantee the complete accuracy of this translation
The light on the kitchen ceiling shifted up and down. I should’ve been lying on my back, yet I feel something thrusting up from under me, but I couldn’t pinpoint what.
Besides that, the lascivious voice I just heard, I wonder who it belonged to.
Adoringly sweet, the visible movement formed a strange rhythm.
(Now that I think of it, how did I end up like this…?)
Although I tried to think, I couldn’t form together proper thoughts. I was caught in a state between sleep and wakefulness
But the only thing I understand right now is that, whatever it was, it felt good.
I felt numb from my feet, an illusion like I was floating……and slowly falling back into the darkness.
Then I felt something hit deep within me and my lights flicked back on. A few more hits, my hazy mind cleared a bit more each time.
Then I remembered the cruel reality.
“Haha, good morning. Just now for a moment, you lost consciousness didn’t you?”
“Hhahh, ahhh, stop……ah!”
Sloppy, wet noises echoed loudly in this quiet room.
ーーThe proof of me being repeatedly violated and repeatedly filled with cum by Sadatsugu, my adoptive old brother.
Every time, he rammed inside, semen gushes out and flows down between my legs.
My head that was overflowing with pleasure, my hips, reacting to the stimulus, shook on its own against my will.
“I can’t……take it anymore…! Please……forgive me!!!”
“No, I have to teach this body who it is that it belongs to”
That point had already long been reached, but Brother would not pull out. Rather instead, it got harder and continued driving against my insides.
The never-ending pleasure ate away at my mind…as a result, I lost consciousness many times.
Seemed like while I lost consciousness, he came inside.
While I cried in despair, my brother patted my head and as I regained consciousness, he whispered to me, “You were too cute so it couldn’t be helped.”
“Seriously…I can’t, anymore, I’ll become……strange”
“Ahaha. That’s good. Lose yourself, to the point you’ll never run from me again”
The reason today’s “punishment” is so harsh, is because I escaped.
Though I say that, I was merely found at the front gate by my brother’s secretary and was returned back, so it ended up as a short-lived attempt if it could be even called an attempt.
Afterwards, I was politely locked in this room, deprived of my freedom like a captive.
Up until my brother returned, I don’t know how many times I thought “I’ll die.” And when I checked my own expression the final time, it was clear that I was visibly tingling with pleasure.
Sure enough, my brother who had returned from work was furious. Yet he kept a smile on his face, despite whatever horrid things may occur. I can easily imagine, that surely, he must have had that same smile…as he murdered our beloved father.
“Ahh…I’m scared, I don’t wanna go……crazy”
Every time he thrusts, my resentment for my brother who had killed his own father grew. Yet at the same time, I felt a sense of guilt.
(Ahh, if only that time, I had refused my father’s proposal……)
With a parent’s intuition, he had noticed his own son’s madness. I was almost able to escape through him marrying me into another house…but he died. Officially it was treated as a natural death, but it was obvious my brother had played a hand. Although he was going to die sooner or later from illness, the timing was too good and coincidental.
I questioned him, and as a response, my brother smiled and repliedーー“He tried to rob you from me.”
When I heard that, my vision literally went dark. Ever since I was raped in my sleep, I’ve felt despair many times, but once never have I wanted to die so much.
Going as far as committing patricide, Brother was the worst of the worst; crazed by his obsession over me, he was a madman
But above all else, the one who’s more dreadful is…….I, who could not abandon my love for such a brother.
“Ahh, aaa……no…more…just……kill me”
Deep down that is what I actually think.
I feel fearful of my brother, for I see my own self reflected in those crazed obsessed eyes. When that person got dragged into this abhorrent love affair, I hated, hated, hated, I couldn’t myself stop hating. I feel so much disgust towards myself that I wanna die.
“If you wanna be freed so much, you should just kill me. There’s no other way for you to be free other than that……”
He whispered, while slowly licking my ears.
A viscous feeling, brother’s words eroded my mind.
My feelings of hate grew, for he had truly meant those words.
The brother of mine who calls me an “angel”, cannot begin to imagine how ugly this angel is as it carries madness deep inside itself.
If it’s killing you, then I would’ve killed you a long long time ago. The moment I learned that I could not marry you, amidst the despair; I considered killing both you and myself. The reason I didn’t carry it out was none other than the fact that I loved you, Brother. As the head of the Mamiya family, I wished for you to marry a beautiful daughter of a dignified family and become happy.
Even though I thought I was able to give up that thought. Even though, I thought I’d be able to move onto a new love. But my brother crushed that hope, it wasn’t the rape itself…but the matter as a whole.
After the initial fear of being forcefully violated subsided, my heart was filled with anger.
To rob my body knowing we will never be blessed by those around us, to end up in the same position as me, I wanted to beat him.
And soon enough, the unimaginable extent of madness he displayed tore me apart.
The darkness ran far, much deeper than I had thought……to the point of killing your own father without hesitation.
(Where exactly did things go wrong…?)
I keep asking myself this question, but I long knew the answer.
ーーThe fact that I loved my brother was the first and beginning of many mistakes.
When I was young and didn’t understand anything, I wanted to be loved by my brother, and desperately so. I wanted Brother to look my way however possible, I worked hard on all my studies, all my lessons. I tried to make myself as beautiful as I possibly could for him. But I soon realized the cruel reality, and like cutting off a piece of my own flesh, I tried to give up that first love.
From my brother’s perspective, it may have merely appeared as though I’ve suddenly grown up and broken away from him.
(It’s stupid. To think parting ways from that resolution of death would break my brother)
The sudden distance between us must have caused him much loneliness. In other words, the one who triggered his madness was no other than my own self.
That’s why, to forgive even murder, I’m not the “angel” my brother says that I am. Rather…I’m more of a demon, aren’t I?
I was beginning to escape from reality when a strong hit of pleasure brought me right back.
Holding down both my wrist, he thrusts me even harder from under me.
The stimulation reverberated throughout, taking away my ability to distance myself from reality.
“Ahhh…hnnn! It’s too much……!!!”
“Being lost in your thoughts while being fucked by me. You must have been picturing a plan to escape weren’t you”
“I wasn’t thinkin…ahh! Aaaah! No please not there! Not there!!!”
Hitting deep at my weak point, an almost painful pleasure, reached into the core of my being.
Even if I’m penetrated so violently, it felt almost nauseatingly good. An almost thrilling sensation spreading throughout my body.
The moment where the feelings of guilt, everything, had begun to melt away, I was afraid.
“Swallowing me up so deliciously, you shouldn’t be against it no? Here, every time I thrust, hah……it impatiently eats me right up”
“Haahh! Ah, aaa! I’m already at…my limit!”
“I know, you’re about to cum, aren’t you? I too, haa, am…about to cum. I gonna, cum inside…okay?”
“No, noo! Not inside! Ah outside……! Outside…please!!!”
As of late, my brother makes no attempts at preventing pregnancy, wanting to impregnate me, he poured his semen inside me countless times. In fact, it was stranger that I wasn’t already pregnant.
Previously, my brother had the matter examined, but it appears there wasn’t anything wrong with either me and him, I guess maybe the Gods had taken pity on us in that regard and that alone. …..If there really was a God, they must look with disdain at my filthiness.
“Plea…se! Aahhh, I’ll, really get……pregnant…!!!”
“Haha, that would be great! I already came inside so many times, surely you’ll give birth to a cute little girl like you”
“Aaah!!! Not that! Nooo……!”
“It’s already been twice, let’s cum a third, a fourth time together as well. Since you’re good girl……don’t resist and accept it all”
Even my bones are quivering as my deepest parts get pounded repeatedly.
My whole body was dripping with sweat, my vision slowly turned white and hazy.
“Hahh! Aah, aaah, aaaaah…!!!”
“Ngghhh, haha……you came, so much. You insides are twitching, saying it wants my cum”
“Hahh…ahh…a…ah……no……I don’t…want it……I don’t want it”
It felt so good, that I can no longer think. I shouldn’t allow that, but locked firmly together at the hips…rubbing deep inside me, my mind is filled with a white blankness……
“Shaking your hips like that…hah, you’re such a naughty girl. Looks like you want it inside don’t you?”
“Ahh, ah…no, you’re wron……”
While he licked my ears, I could smell the scent of my brother.
“I’m not mistaken at all no? I’ll cum inside again just like you wanted……ngh, ahh, cumming…! Aah, I’m cumming…!!!”
“Hah, ahh! Aaaah……”
The fact it felt so good was the worst feeling, it’s so saddening that I slowly began to cry.
My initially blurry vision soon becomes clear, in front of me were a pair of sharp eyes. Whilst catching a glimpse of a smile, a soft feeling on my lips soon followed.
“I’m so relieved. I thought you might’ve died”
I gathered my scattered thoughts, processing and repeating the sound that had just entered my ears. As the fog in my mind dissipated and I soon grasped the miserable situation I was in, I began moving my lips.
Apparently this time, I had lost consciousness for quite a long time.
“……I wished I had died.”
“Did you think I would let you die so easily in front of me?”
“Then, Brother should just die instead”
And I too will follow soon afterーーthough that is something I fail to mention. But if he knew my life would also be lost in the process, my brother would surely fight back and resist.
I could not keep count of how many times I held this anguish within my arms. Without even noticing I grabbed the fruit knife near me, pressing it against the smooth neck in front of my eyes.
Before I was able to apply strength, I heard an almost ecstatic voice coming from somewhere.
“Go ahead. If that’s what you so wish, I will give you my life”
“But, the thing I want most is freedom”
“That’s unfortunate, but that is the one thing I cannot give. After all, you are a sacrifice bestowed onto me”
However, for my brother who carries the responsibility of the Mamiya family on his back, to fall in love with a mere offering is heartbreaking.
I apologize from the bottom of my heart.
Brother. For loving you and for breaking you, I’m sorry.
Father, Grandfather. For repaying you both with adversity, I’m sorry.
“It’ll make me happy”
“……Do you seriously mean it?”
“Oh, of course, I’m always serious”
Brother chuckled as if I said something strange.
Perhaps it was the fatigue, but I too left out a small burst of laughter.
(Ah, it’s strange. By leaving suffering in our wake the two of us could be happy, but there’s no way such a thing can be forgiven)
A laughing voice could be heard, resonating through the night.